Posts Tagged ‘Comedy’

Stephen Colbert vs. Chuck Norris – Quick Breakdown

Round House

Chuck's Rooundhouse, Can Kill a Husky

Slow Down, I know what you’re thinking.  Chuck Norris with one quick round house kick would Texas Ranger Stephen in two seconds flat?  Maybe twenty years ago.

stephencolbertsuperhero

Stephen, With his sword of Truth

Now, Today, Stephen Colbert is a spry 45 years old and Chuck Norris is 65.

 

That’s a twenty year age difference and anyone who watches professional fighters knows that even a year or two can make or break someone’s chance of winning.

chuckvsbrucelee

Chest Hair, Ouch

Chuck Norris still stays in shape with his total gym, but it’s not like Stephen doesn’t work out as well.  Remember, lets look at Chuck’s record.  Sure, he’s had some wins?  Well, at least in the movies where he’s pretend beating up jokers.  In real life, Bruce Lee owned Chuck.

You say, “That was Bruce, and he’s bad ass in his own right”, but did you know about Chuck’s humiliating loses to Joe Lewis and Allen Steen?  Did you know about his loss to Louis Delgado. On November 24, 1968?

Chuck Norris Homless

It Would be Cool to Get RoundHoused By Chuck

Of course Chuck ended up avenging most of his losses and I’m a huge fan of his past accomplishments, but I have doubts that he could take Mr. Colbert.

DNEWS CHAFFETZ.CIT

Chaffetz Loses By Decision Against Colbert

Stephen is no stranger to physical contests.  Earlier this year he leg wrestled and beat one of his long time opponents.  Stephen has a huge gang of followers.  I’m not saying that Mr. Norris doesn’t have any fans, but has he ever been ordered to shave his head by the president?

stephencolbertsweetness

Sweetness

If You’re doubting that Stephen would have a chance, don’t forget about his .38 revolver “Sweetness” that Stephen carries on him at ALL Times.  If you read into Stephen’s past you’ll see that he’s had a hard life, and I’m not going to get into details because this is a comedy blog, that would be over the line.  We can argue a good case for Stephen, but who knows, Chuck might be able to take him?  I really don’t know.

tolietpapperofchucknorris

Toilet Paper of Chuck Norris

Advertisements

Goat Molests Farmer, Not Sorry

goat

Come on, guys. I’m tellin’ ya, you got the wrong goat.

Yeah, I was feeding on Mr. Dudkins grass, but I wasn’t the one digging in his trousers the other night. I don’t rape. Now, I’m not gonna lie and say I’ve never fooled around before, but I don’t force myself on anyone…or anything. Continue reading

2 Girls 1 Cup: Stewie Griffin Reaction

No, we’re not that raunchy here at LGO. We wouldn’t even begin to think about trying to obtain “Two Girls and One Cup”. If you want that crap, you can Google Search your way to “Hungry Bitches”. No, we aren’t giving you a link to that.

However, we did find several of the reaction videos quite hilarious over the past year or so. But the best one by far, in our opinion, is Family Guy’s own Stewie Griffin:

Of course, this is hardly a family themed episode (or show). But then again, we’re talking about a show that has a baby talk british, make sexual and gay references, and try to kill his mother. Oh, and look at Hustler:

Again, back to the homosexuality. But that’s alright, because Family Guy is okay with us!

Andy Samberg: Throwing Things on the Ground

You are most likely already pretty well-versed with jizzing in one’s pants, what it’s like to be a boss and be on a boat. But do you know what it means to throw things on the ground? Andy Samberg, the Saturday Night Live and Hot Rod star,  is at it again:

Jared Leto: Gay-est of Non-Gays?

We regret to inform “All the Single Ladies” out there, but Jared Leto is gay. Like, really, really gay. He’s got his hair flared-up. He’s wearing sunglasses without the full tint, and he’s wearing leather. On a regular day, in the summer, he’s wearing leather. Come to think of it when is Leto not wearing leather?

jared leto gay

However, there still is no actual “proof” that Leto likes the cock as much as, say, Lindsay Lohan, Cameron Diaz, or even Tila Tequila (although he dated them all), but we’re on to him.

But why do we even begin to think this, you ask? Well, we answer that with another question: What’s gay-er than gay? I mean, short of naming your emo rock band 30 Seconds to Mars.

How about firing your band team management a month before you release your new album? With a tour in the work, Leto went balls-out into an “I’m the boss” tirade, citing artistical difference (he actually didn’t cite anything. we’re just saying that.), and complaining about the direction and focus of the CD.

I know, I know, we’re not actually talking about the whole gay thing. Well, before we just always thought he was a beautiful little actor who also jumped around in front of his playful, wrist-cutting band. But after being made aware of the fact that he once said he was “Gay as a goose”, we just had to take it one step further.

So, no, we don’t have any concrete evidence. But we get a feeling this guy will uncover the truth:

caruso

This was the last thing Leto had up his ass.

(Editor’s Note: We doubt Leto is actually gay. But it’s funny to ponder about it.)

Personal Ad #12683: Peter Galdon

armpit-woman

Hi there, I’m Peter. My friends call me Petey, Petite, Purple Pete, Sneaky Snake, and Pan. Cuz, you know, the fictional character. The one that never grows old. Short of the green tights and pointy hat, that’s me in a nutshell.

Well, I used to have tights. But I gave that up years ago. Look at me, rambling on. And I’m only permitted 3,000 words. I hate to bunch up my whole personality into one block of letters, but shoot, it’s so hard to meet young, fine-looking girls these days.

I usually have to go to a park, clamp my shades over my spectacles, stretch back, and let my hair do the talking. I let the whispies reel’em in. I get about one or two a day. They walk dogs, baby-sit kids, or even go for a jog.

Not me. I just sit and wait. Not like a pervert or anything. More like a young, strong Fabio waiting for his next vixen to conquer. Oh, well, I’ve said too much. But have I even said enough. Oh, there I go again, gettin’ all R.E.M. on you guys. Lets hope I don’t go “Losing My Religion” before we get the chance to sit down and talk.

Dinner’s on me, sweet pea. Waddya say?

Brett Favre Sears Commericial and Outtakes

This commercial was actually first aired after Favre came back from his second retirement to join the Minnesota Vikings, but these bloopers are just now available on youtube. If you’re a fan of Favre or football, you’ll get a kick out of the outtakes and commercial.