New Gayness Test Under Development

There are some new studies being conducted in China, of all places, on how genetics effect the way the brain responds.

Basically, you can ask someone just a few questions, and based off of their answers (comparing with results from thousands of others) you can determine their sexual preferences.  We don’t have access to the actual question/survey but we’ve developed on internally.  Fill it out below. Let’s have some fun.

What’s Your “Gay Score”?

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ESPN’s Steve Phillips Had Sex With Co-Worker, Brooke Hundley

And it ain’t pretty, folks. No, there’s no sex tape-we hope. But for realzies, the ESPN reporter, Steve Phillips, cheated on his wife and had sex with this chick:

brooke-hundley-pictures

Not too shabby, right? Wrong. That’s an ideal picture of Brooke Hundley. Check out the pair posing for a picture:

hundley and phillips

If only we knew what they were up to back then. Those sick fucks.

Ah, but the story gets more interesting. Way more interesting. Marni Phillips, Steve’s wife, called the cops after Brooke Hundley showed up at her house. And to top it off, she had delivered a very revealing letter to Phillip’s wife

A lesson to the young and horny: Don’t sleep with retarded-looking co-workers. And don’t deal with crazies.

The Shizzolator’s Spinnn’ach

Shittn On'm, Okay?

Shittn On'm, Okay?

Snoop Dog

If you don’t know who Snoop D. O. “double” G is, then you either don’t like hip hop or you need to listen to more music, watch more movies or get more news.  The purpose of this post is to ponder the impact Gizz Lifted may or may not have played in the role of Mr. Shizzolator’s success to date.

The video example below should be seen as exhibit A or should I say X to the Z, A.

If you want to skip right to 3:25 for when Snoop comes in.  Otherwise, it’s always nice to listen to a classic.

He was sitting there, and if you know then you know.

I’m not sure what my point was here, but thanks for reading.

First Confessional – Tim Reiff

I'm Only Gay if I like it, Right?

I'm Only Gay if I like it, Right?

Tim Reiff – Date Rape, Urr No?

My name is Tim Reiff and I have a heavy story that’s been on my chest for at least 2 years.  I haven’t shared what happened to me with anyone, not even those who are closest.  This event has caused me to seek therapy with a medical professional.

During my therapy sessions, Dr. Howard expressed that it would be very beneficial to arrive at a point of closure.  To get there, first I need to have identified with what happened.  Then I need to tell someone, and I decided to go with this blog.

Two summers ago I went out drinking from my friends.  I’m going to leave out the gory details but I woke up in a van.  And no,. Chris Farley Fans, it was not “down by the river”

This rusty Chevy van was parked downtown in the ramps.  Long story short, I woke up with a used rubber stuck between my ass cheeks.

I’m really not sure exactly what happened, but I will never drink “swamp water” again.  I did it, I went to the physical level of Man Love.  I know I’m not gay, but what was I thinking?

LGO Answer-

@ LGO we have been discussing doing a confessional category where we take submissions from our subscribers or views and post them here on the blog.  So if you have confessions, write them up and send them to us.

We’re not touching the confession up above Tim, Sorry.  We think you should keep your past between you and your therapist or man-rapist, whichever it is for you.

5 Sex Offender Treats For Halloween

When you think of “trick or treating” you don’t think about some mid 40’s creep playing with his junk while he gives candy to your kids.

I live across the street.  Happy Halloween!

I live across the street. Happy Halloween!

So how do you protect yourself?  First you need to know where they are.

There’s a site where (FOR FREE) you can look up all of the perverts in your hood.

Then you can use this list of fun things to do on Halloween to registered sex offenders.

First Find Them at: http://www.familywatchdog.us/

Then Try These:

FUN Things to do on Halloween to Registered Sex Offenders

#1.  Make a sign, post it in their yard, that tells everyone what you just found out: sexoffendersign

Putting this up (or making your own personalized version) is great on a holiday that gets so much outdoor traffic.  Other tips:

  • Sidewalk Chalk
  • Spray Paint
  • Post Supporting Signs (example: Sex Offender @ 123 St “large arrow pointing the the correct direction, posted on busy cross streets”)
  • Print Up and staple gun to area telephone poles
  • Visit at 2-3am and write your message with round up

#2 “The Sting”  Get a high powered stun gun (or other protective non-lethal or lethal weapon pepper spray, nightstick), a costume that hides your identity, or use your kids as bait (or not).   Knock, Knock (you know the rest, but we can’t say it)

#3 “The Phone Trick”  Look them up, Call their PO (or leave an anonymous tip with the police), tell a big lie.  Who are they going to believe?

#4 “Crossing Guard”  Dress up like a crossing guard and defend the house from the youngsters during your locally posted trick or treat times.  It helps if you have a shirt or sign that explains what you’re doing.

#5 “Sneaky Treats”  This is up to your imagination, but I promise to make another post full of sneaky treat ideas.

Do not do anything listed above unless you agree not to sue us.

Keanu Reeves Accused of Fathering Ontario Lady’s Kids

Keanu Reeves was in the news recently for apparently fathering several kids and not taking responsibility. An Ontario lady claimed they had slept together and she felt he was the father, but didn’t have the funds to get a paternity test. She was calling for a DNA test, as well as money, from the 45-year old Reeves.

Reeves was cleared eventually, as Reeves claimed to not even know who the lady was. He wasn’t available for comment. We did, however, manage to catch this photo of him coming out of his cave:

keanu reeves

Okay, so he didn’t come out of a cave. But dear God, man, shave or something. You’re fucking 45.

Paul McCartney, Step Away From The Mic

After five years of silence, Paul McCartney announces that he’s going to do a new European tour.

My parents generation say that there’s two types of people.

There’s Elvis People and there’s Beatles People.

To talk negatively about either one is usually going to bring at least half of the room up and ready to kill you.  So just to be clear, I’m not saying I dislike the Beatles.  I’m only saying that I don’t care about any of Paul McCartney’s music going forward.  I’ve heard what there is to hear.

Here’s why:

In my humble opinion I think he’s just a “pretty good bass player” that was in the right place at the right time. Just listen to him collaborate with other musicians and you can plainly see that he’s 4th rate at best.

Here’s Paul w/Linkin Park and Jay-Z:

Here’s Paul with Michal Jackson.  What are they drinking in the beginning of this one,. Jesus Juice?

Sure there’s a lot of talent, but if I wanted to see anyone tour again it would be Carl Douglas:

Tell me that Paul McCartney is better than Carl Douglas?

Well, Carl Douglas was better than Elvis Presley.  If you don’t agree with that, at least Carl wrote his own music.