Jared Leto: Gay-est of Non-Gays?

We regret to inform “All the Single Ladies” out there, but Jared Leto is gay. Like, really, really gay. He’s got his hair flared-up. He’s wearing sunglasses without the full tint, and he’s wearing leather. On a regular day, in the summer, he’s wearing leather. Come to think of it when is Leto not wearing leather?

jared leto gay

However, there still is no actual “proof” that Leto likes the cock as much as, say, Lindsay Lohan, Cameron Diaz, or even Tila Tequila (although he dated them all), but we’re on to him.

But why do we even begin to think this, you ask? Well, we answer that with another question: What’s gay-er than gay? I mean, short of naming your emo rock band 30 Seconds to Mars.

How about firing your band team management a month before you release your new album? With a tour in the work, Leto went balls-out into an “I’m the boss” tirade, citing artistical difference (he actually didn’t cite anything. we’re just saying that.), and complaining about the direction and focus of the CD.

I know, I know, we’re not actually talking about the whole gay thing. Well, before we just always thought he was a beautiful little actor who also jumped around in front of his playful, wrist-cutting band. But after being made aware of the fact that he once said he was “Gay as a goose”, we just had to take it one step further.

So, no, we don’t have any concrete evidence. But we get a feeling this guy will uncover the truth:

caruso

This was the last thing Leto had up his ass.

(Editor’s Note: We doubt Leto is actually gay. But it’s funny to ponder about it.)

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13 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Norman on October 15, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    what a poorly-written little piece of bullshit.
    Every little sentence shows more dumbness and jealousy I’ve ever read before about this guy.
    And not funny nor ironic.

    *pukes*

    Reply

  2. I wouldn’t trust David Caruso on these matters

    Reply

  3. Posted by B. on October 15, 2009 at 3:57 pm

    “How about firing your band team management a month before you release your new album”
    For your information : http://undercover.com.au/News-Story.aspx?id=9231_Jared_Leto_and_30_Seconds_To_Mars_Sticks_With_Irving_Azoff

    😉

    Love your title by the way!

    Reply

  4. Posted by Dragon of The Art of War on October 15, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    THIS IS BY FAR THE WORST HORSESHIT I HAVE EVER READ ABOUT THIS MAN!

    HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED RESEARCHING “BEFORE” WRITING THINGS YOU NO NOTHING ABOUT?

    FOR EXAMPLE; HE WEARS LEATHER CLOTHES BECAUSE OF A PHOTOSHOOT WITH HIS BAND 30 SECONDS TO MARS IN NEW YORK IN SEPTEMBER THIS YEAR.

    HAS YOUR MOTHER NOT TEACHED YOU THAT IF YOU DON’T HAVE SONETHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT SOMEBODY BETTER TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT?

    STOP TELLING LIES TO JUST GET ATTENTION!!!

    SO BACK OFF AND GET YOUR OWN LIFE!!!

    Reply

    • Posted by Kevin Roberts on October 16, 2009 at 2:02 am

      This is a satire and humor site. If you have a crush on Leto, send him a fan letter. Don’t deliver hate messages because you don’t have a sense of humor.

      Reply

  5. Posted by noele on October 16, 2009 at 12:20 am

    First of all Jared did NOT fire his management team.. please see related article http://www.antimusic.com/news/09/oct/1430_Seconds_to_Mars_Is_Not_Under_New_Management.shtml

    Then seriously if he is or isnt gay who cares, he still is nice to look at and make great music

    The presale for This is War is available now in itunes. You will get 2 bomus tracks for preordering
    You can buy the single “kingsandqueens” now on itunes
    Also you can enter Thirty Seconds to Mars 30 guitars in 30 days giveaway here http://culturej.am/o16

    Follow them on twitter here http://twitter.com/30SECONDSTOMARS

    Reply

    • Posted by Kevin Roberts on October 16, 2009 at 2:03 am

      It’s a satire piece, dude. And how is promoting his band on a satire article bashing him making any sense at all to you?

      Reply

  6. Posted by Jaden on October 16, 2009 at 9:55 am

    Satire? I think you’ve got something a bit wrong, dude 🙂

    But at least you’ve got some attention – what more should a blogger-heart want?

    Reply

  7. Posted by meowmell on December 2, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    wtf? he’s not gay! he was engaged to woman! and even if he is..SO WHAT?! arrgh I hate that you’re meddling into personal things and telling lies..

    Reply

  8. Posted by moa on December 10, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    the idea that Jared is gay is funny (by itself, so nothing to do with the person saying its …joke…skills). Not sure what the point of this blog thing is..if you want to see an actual funny commentary on Jared then go to Janet Charlton Hollywood’s site which I am also reading right now which came up in the results. Sad that someone who is trying so hard to be funny and failing can’t just leave it at that. But needs to fire back weird replies to every single person who makes a comment. Assuming this will even get posted.

    Reply

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